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What In The Heck's A Barack Obama

What In The Heck's A Barack Obama? / The Onion

By Lyle Dixon

Just the other day, I was watching the TV, and I'll be damned if everyone didn't start talking 'bout this new thing called a "Barack Obama." Seems to be the hottest trend right now, and you can't go nowhere without hearin' some mention of it. Barack Obama this, Barack Obama that. Well, that's all well and good, but I still got one question: What in the heck is it?

"Barack Obama." Boy, now if that ain't the craziest thing I ever heard of. Sounds like one of them exercise machines you gotta order off TV. Or maybe it's some sort of reality show, or one of them fancy new diets for ladies. "Barack Obama." Huh. Musta come over from Japan or Tokyo or somewhere's around there.

Whatever it is, it ain't from 'round these parts, that's for sure.

Now you shoulda seen the look on my neighbor's face when I asked him if he knew what it was. He said I must be goin' crazy, cuz he ain't never heard of a Barack Obama in all his life. But I told him sure enough they got 'em now. Hear they're pretty popular up north, too. "Barack Obama." Such a silly thing to call something, ain't it? Probably one of those things everyone gets themselves all excited 'bout, and then it never even comes to nothin'.

Apparently all the kids want one. I reckon it's one of them new toys they always bring out this time-a year.

"Barack Obama." Sounds expensive. Never seen one in the Wal-Mart, anyhow. You know, come to think of it, I bet it's somethin' for the computer. Everything's for computers nowadays. Could be one of them new-fangled electronic gadgets, too, I s'pose. Something you watch the videos on. But I already got me a TV set, so unless this Barack Obama thing does something useful like whack weeds, I think I'll pass.

More'n likely, it's one of them things where you buy the Barack Obama, and then you gotta buy a bunch of other things just to make it work. That's how they get ya.

Shoot, better not tell the wife about it, or sure enough, she'll want one. And I'll bet you she'll use it once and then put it right back in the box and never use it again. Then I'll have a brand-new Barack Obama down the basement, sittin' there gathering dust right next to that fancy expresso machine she needed so bad and the kids' Furbies

Or maybe that's it. Maybe it's one of them "novelty" doodads they got now, you know, the humorous things, like the Billy Bass fish I got hangin' up on the wall in the garage. Billy Bass, that thing is crazy. Actually, I wouldn't mind if this Barack Obama thing was some sort of Billy Bass. I gotta hand it to him, that fish is funny. It's funny when he sings.

Now, I try to stay up on top of all these new fads and all—after all, you got to when you got kids—but this Barack Obama thing makes no kind of sense. Really makes ya scratch yer head and wonder, don't it? Where did this thing come from? What does it do? You know what, I think it may be one of them twirlin' stoves that helps you roast a chicken.

Well, sir, thanks but no thanks. I won't be needin' a Barack Obama anytime soon. My oven works just fine.

Frankly, I don't know why everyone's working themselves into such a tizzy over some silly new fad when we've got much bigger problems on our plates. The environment ain't doin' so hot, it seems, and I'll be damned if the handlin' of issues like the senseless war in Iraq and the treatment-a homosexuals in this nation ain't a downright shame. Instead of inventing up silly stuff like Barack Obamas, why don't they make a product that fixes the economy?

Now that's somethin' I'd be interested in. That or if it's a waffle maker.

Globalized Manhole

Found Outside UCSD's Mechanical Engineering Building :
Inner cover from Mexico, outer cover from India, and outermost ring, from China ..



-Courtesy Ameet Deshpande's Blog

Vaishnava Janato

Panchamam Students at Esplanade, Singapore



These kids are awesome ! Searches for the counterpart Carnatic and other songs on www.musicindiaonline.com yield renditions by professional singers, yet I yearn for this version.

Pandit Bhimsen Joshi's Bhagyada

Bhagyada Lakshmi Baramma





From Kannada movie Nodi Swami Naavirodu Heege

Lyrics : Purandara Dasaru

More Sandhi-Vichhed !

Om Bhurbhuvaswah Tatsavitur Varenyam

Bhargodevasya Dheemahi

Dhiyoyona Prachodayat

I'm an absolute fan of the ancient users of this language !

Translation takes the cake :

We meditate upon the most adorable luster of the Sun-God,
Who inspired the functions of our intellect

The words are not just wielded craftily, to create precision and poetry, their meaning is humbling and awe-inspiring. The sheer grandiosity ... the size and order of the statements made ! Likewise, the Gita captures the vishaal stature of the supernatural force termed God.

At the end of the millennium all material manifestations enter into My nature, and at the beginning of another millennium, by My potency, I create them again.

The whole cosmic order is under Me. Under My will it is automatically manifested again and again, and under My will it is annihilated at the end.


I am the Supersoul, seated in the hearts of all living entities. I am the beginning, the middle and the end of all beings.

I am inexhaustible time.

I am also the gambling of cheats,and of the splendid I am the splendor. I am victory, I am adventure, and I am the strength of the strong

I am the goal, the sustainer, the master, the witness, the abode, the refuge and the most dear friend. I am the creation and the annihilation, the basis of everything, the resting peace and the eternal seed.

Narmada Stuti

सबिन्दु सिन्धु सुस्कलत्त रंगभंग रंजितम
द्विश्त्सु पाप जातजात कदीवरी संयुतम
क्रितांतदूत कालभूत भीतिहारी वर्मदे
त्वदम्बुली नदीनमी दिव्य संप्रदायकम
कलौमलौघ भारहारी सर्वतीर्थ नायकम
सुमच चक्च नक्र चक्र वाकचाक्र शर्मदे
त्वदिय पाद पंकजम नमामी देवी नर्मदे
त्वदिय पाद पंकजम नमामी देवी नर्मदे
त्वदिय पाद पंकजम नमामी देवी नर्मदे

Memories from school days at Rajghat, Varanasi, but no translation available to me sadly. Will paste the verses in English to make the reading easier !

Sabindu Sindhu Suskhalatta RaNga BhaNga RanjitaM

DviShatsu Paapa Jaatajaata Kaadivaari Sanyutam.h |

KR^itaantaduuta Kaalabhuuta Bhiitihaari Varmade

Tvadiiya Paada Pa~NkajaM Namaami Devi Narmade || 1||


Tvadam Bulii Nadiinamiina DivyasaMpradaayakaM

Kalau Malaugha Bhaarahaari Sarvatiirtha Naayakam.h |

Sumach ChakachCha Nakra Chakra Vaakachakrasharmade

Tvadiiyapaadapa~NkajaM Namaami Devi Narmade || 2||

Gurur Sakshaat Parambrahma (The Guru is God's Concrete Personification)

Gnananda Mayam Devam Nirmala Spatikakrithim,
Aadharam Sarva Vidhyanam Haya Greevam Upasmahe

Guruve Sarvalokanaam Bhishaje Bhavaroginaam
Nidhaye Sarva Vidyanam Dakshinamurthiye Namaha

Anandamanandakaram Prasannam Gyanaswaroopman Nijabodhyuktam
Yogendramigyam Bhavarogavaidyam SrimadGurunitya Mahamnamami

Gurur Bramha Gurur Vishnu Gurur Devo Maheswaraha
Guru Sakshat Parambramha Tasmai Srigurave Namaha


Looking desperately for a complete translation for this. This amongst many other Sanskrit slokas like "Mano budhya ahankara" pasted here earlier was part of my school morning prayer curriculum at the Rajghat Besant School in Varanasi,India. The beauty of these verses like any other Sanskrit writing is littered with what the language is perhaps best known for - its use of the most complex sandhi-vichhed.

The words "Aham nirvikalpo, nirakaar rupo" - instantly conjure up in my mind a very precise, yet poetic depiction of the abstract. What a way to convey something - so logical yet so creative. Vikalp being form, roop being style/form and nir being without, together the phrase conveys something that cannot be captured/outlined.

The following translation of two of the verses below was compiled by PR Ramachander.


Gnananda Mayam Devam Nirmala Spatikakrithim,
Aadharam Sarva Vidhyanam Haya Greevam Upasmahe

My salutations to Lord Hayagreeva,
Who is the personification of knowledge,
Who is as clear as the crystal,
And who is the foundation of all knowledge.


Gurur Bramha Gurur Vishnu Gurur Devo Maheswaraha
Guru Sakshat Parambramha Tasmai Srigurave Namaha


Salutations to that Teacher.
Who himself is the ultimate truth,
Who is chief of all Gods,
And who verily is the truth himself.


I should make my students sing this for their TA ;)

Being a commonly understood concept in India, even by the non - mainstream schooled, I was once asked by a driving school instructor in Bangalore (who was apparently already charging somewhat over the regular price) to provide him with "gurudakshina" at the end of my lessons. India.......


UW-Madison offers Sanskrit lessons that I think I will enroll for !

America's Finest News Source,

Captures me !



Captures my teaching !



The Onion, was originally published at the University of Wisconsin-Madison by two undergraduate students !


Proud to be here,

Panchi Kahe Kis Gagan Udun Main?

Panchi Kahe Kis Gagan Udun Main?
Behtar Ho Jo Is Daal?

Bhor Bhor Bhor , Ek Udta Panchi...

-Bhor by Indian Ocean

We Doth Stupid

Two households, both alike in dignity
In fair Verona, where we lay our scene
From ancient grudge break to new mutiny,
Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean
From forth the fatal loins of these two foes
A pair of star-crossed lovers take their life
Whose misadventured piteous overthrows
Doth with their death bury their parents’ strife
The fearful passage of their death-marked love,
And the continuance of their parents’ rage
Which, but their children’s end, naught could remove,
Is now the two hours’ traffic of our stage
The which if you with patient ears attend
What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.

So what? These verses from William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet found their way into my journalism class this week ! We were asked to write leads and nut graphs - the first paragraph of a news story based on this (as if reporting in 17th century Verona, but without the Gothic English!)

Fatal Love

Verona – Two teenagers from long time feuding families were found dead in Verona today, in an apparent double suicide. While the deaths capture the fate of the love of Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet, with this, the families have finally come to a truce. Decades of intense rivalry alive now lies buried with the deaths of the children.

"We doth stupid," said Lord Montague as a shifty Lady Montague looked on.

Some Gothic crept in anyway..

Muhaha - we doth stupid ! I doth very stupid all the time in my life!!

My Pro-track Master's

Doing a professional-track Master's in Science Journalism is like being on a long internship - it's good stuff. It's designed to get reporters/writers out in the real world, though the program is well balanced in terms of theory and practice.

I had no idea that science journalism/science writing could be as complicated as it is.

Quirks & Quarks

Quirks & Quarks ! I can't think of a more apt name...this blog entry is for the name the executive producer of this program gave it. We had the chance to meet him today in class!

Quirks & Quarks is an award-winning radio science program of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation. The program is heard by a national audience in Canada of nearly 500,000 people, and by thousands more around the world via weekly podcast.

For more than 30 years, Quirks & Quarks has brought its listeners to the cutting edge of scientific inquiry. from the smallest sub-atomic particle to the largest objects in the sky and everything in between.

-Quirks & Quarks Website, Jim Handman (Executive Producer)

Correlation Vs Causation

Though fMRI scans are routinely criticized for the "weak" nature of the evidence they throw up, in humans, these correlative findings are the only way to discover what brain areas are responsible for a particular function (apart from brain lesions that can link structure to function). So though causations are hard to imply in these studies, the data is still useful according to mainstream scientific opinion since target therapies do not always need causations to be known.