"Anything that doesn't matter has no mass"

Limericks began in Limerick City, Ireland

There was an old lady called Wright,
Who could travel much faster than light,
She departed one day in a relative way and returned on the previous night.

A Short History of Medicine

I have an earache:

2000 B.C. -Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. -That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. -That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. -That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. -That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D . -That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

Quotables

Copernicus' parents : "Copernicus, young man, when are you going to come to terms with the fact that the world does not revolve around you?"

Physicist : Anything that doesn't matter has no mass.
Cricketer Navjot Singh Sidhu adds: It's all about mind and matter; I don't mind and you don't matter.

A biologist is only a lab rat's way of making another lab rat .
- Random Rat

Sigh-ence

The transplant had finally started.
The incision was carefully charted.
The dog was just sliced,
And the chicken was spliced,
And the dog is now chicken-hearted.

Q: How many physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.

A little neurological put down: You've only got two neurons--and one of them's inhibitory.

Newsflash: Physicists have embarked on their own product safety campaign, recommending that manufacturers provide consumers with all of the following labels:

WARNING: Due to its heavy mass, this product warps the space surrounding it. No health hazards are yet known to be associated with effect.
NOTE: This product may actually be nine-dimensional but, if this is the case, functionality is not affected by the extra six dimensions.
NOTE: A subatomic "glue" holds the fundamental constituents of this product together. Since the exact nature of this glue is not yet fully understood, its adhesive power cannot be guaranteed. To date, no known malfunction of the product has resulted from glue failure.

What do biologists do when they have twins?
Baptize one and keep the other as a control.

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens hadn't evolved yet.

Support bacteria - it's the only culture some people have!

Q: What tool is used to measure a hole in the head?
A: A Phineas gage.

(Phineas Gage was a railroad worker who was in charge of explosives which blew up in his face, driving the iron through the frontal lobe of his brain. He survived, to the total astonishment of the doctor, but with a radically altered personality, thus becoming the first victim of an accidental frontal lobotomy.) More at : http://www.mc.maricopa.edu/~reffland/anthropology/anthro2003/origins/phineas.html
Or borrow a copy of " The Emerging Mind" by renowned Neurobiologist VS Ramachandran from me.